growing pains

God is good all the time. All the time God is good!

I know I have been absent from the blog for a bit and there are a couple reasons for that.

One of them is that since Billy had his last day as a Sam's Club employee (after almost 11 years!) we have been really busy getting our own business collateral finished up for our studio grand opening.

The other reason is that I have been going through some growing pains and have been turning more towards actual journaling (pens and notebooks and all :)) instead of hopping on here.

I still really enjoy visiting on everyone's blogs and getting glimpses into your lives. I'm confident I'll be back to blogging regularly in no time, but lately I feel like I've been dealing with a lot.

God is stretching me in ways I don't really want to be stretched but I am trusting Him because I know that without Him I am literally nothing!

In the meantime, if you think of me will you pray for me? Will you pray specifically for strengthening in mine and Billy's marriage? Especially now that Billy and I work full time together, we need a stronger marriage than ever before. But the truth is that marriage is hard work and we definitely need God's grace and love.

And on a separate little note..there are many of you whose blogs I still visit regularly but blogger will not let me leave comments because of cookies?! No clue what this means but I am still out there!

waiting...

just waiting on Friday to roll around so that I can finally announce our BIG news! yippeeee! In the meantime I'm quite amazed that I haven't burst from holding it all in.

So while I sit around counting down the days till I can officially freak out about everything going on I'll just share another little "for me" purchase.

Picked this up at Nordstrom's a couple weeks ago with the husband...I was in need of something fresh and bright and though I don't typically wear makeup I love MAC lipsticks...I think its the vanilla-y smell :) This shade named "vegas volt" is the perfect amount of brightness for a palester like myself :)

I was hoping it would make me feel more like bright and happy Spring weather is really on its way and with the sunshine peaking out today I think our mission was accomplished :)

On Distant Shores-Five Iron Frenzy

I have been scarred so deep by life and cold despair,
and brittle bones were broken far beyond repair.
I have leveled lies so deep, the truth may never find.
And inside my faithless heart, I stole things never mine.

If mercy falls upon the broken and the poor,
Dear Father, I will see you there, on distant shores.

I have toiled for countless years and ever felt the cost,
and I've been burned by this world's cold,
like leaves beneath the frost.
On my knees I've crawled to You, bleeding myself dry.
But the price of life is more, than I could ever buy.

If mercy falls upon the broken and the poor,
Dear Father, I will see you there, on distant shores.

And off of the blocks,
I was headstrong and proud,
at the front of the line for the card-carrying, highbrowed.
With both eyes fastened tight,
yet unscarred from the fight.
Running at full tilt, my sword pulled from its hilt.
It's funny how these things can slip away,
our frail deeds, the last will wave good-bye.
It's funny how the hope will bleed away,
the citadels we build and fortify. Good-Bye.

Night came and I broke my stride,
I swallowed hard, but never cried.
When grace was easy to forget,
I'd denounce the hypocrites,
casting first stones, killing my own.
You would unscale my blind eyes,
and I stood battered, but more wise,
fighting to accelerate,
shaking free from crippling weight.
With resilience unsurpassed,
I clawed my way to You at last.
And on my knees, I wept at Your feet,
I finally believed, that You still loved me.

Healing hands of God have mercy on our unclean souls once again.
Jesus Christ, Light of the World,
burning bright within our hearts forever.
Freedom means love without condition,
without beginning or an end.
Here's my heart, let it be forever Yours,
only You can make every new day seem so new.

hair pretties love.

I have been a big fan of Meghan's ever since I first discovered her adorable etsy shop.

I scooped up several of her precious hand knit booties for Baby Isaac and we were even so honored as to have Meghan naming a pair after him! That was a HUGE honor for us! (Okay..maybe for me more than Isaac but I'm sure he'll be honored when he can understand honor :)).

So imagine my delight when I saw Hair Pretties tagged in these super cute photos today. Isn't she gorgeous? She sure knows how to rock a limited edition pretty if I do say so myself too.

Thanks for the shout out today Meghan! You made my day!

for me...

It seems as if all the shopping I do is for the boys and for billy. And I'm not complaining because sometimes I think I enjoy buying them things more than I like getting things for myself!

However, lately I had been on an unofficial hunt for a trinket holder. I found a vintage cloissonne bowl on Etsy that I absolutely loved but I stalled on purchasing it and of course it sold. Since then I always check back in that seller's shop hoping to see something similar.

When I saw this cute little box as a tiny thumbnail picture I was still immediately drawn to it because of the colorings. Its another vintage piece and after looking at the bigger photos of it I knew I wasn't going to stall this time and went ahead and purchased it.


As much as I love all my boys, sometimes its nice to buy something with a more feminine appeal. I can't wait for it to get here! I think vintage pieces or passed down items are so much better than something that's brand spankin' new. New things are nice, don't get me wrong and there are some items I would only want to purchase new....but for the most part I think the stories behind vintage and heirloom pieces win over a new piece just about every time.

In the meanwhile I am wondering just how in the world it got to be March 19, and how I thought this month would d r a g on forever, and yet here we are and it's already almost over.

BIG news ahead. I can hardly wait! :)

March 1st.

Let the hubby bday party planning begin! I have to admit that I try to soak up as much "it's my birthday" as I can...we ate birthday cake 2x this week already and tomorrow the cake Billy ordered from Cakes By Request will be ready to be picked up...I've reread my birthday cards from Billy and the boys a million times already...balloons are still floating around the house...I am still basking in the glorious smell that is a new Louis Vuitton...

But when February ends (sadly) I am ready to kick it in full gear for planning Billy's May birthday. Especially this year because he is turning the big 30!

I have been thinking about Billy's 30th birthday nearly since I met him! I am so excited because May is going to start a whole new chapter in our lives....last year for Billy's gift I bought him a really nice drafting table. It was my way of encouraging him to continue his love for drawing/graphic design.

This May we are going a step further in that direction but my hands are tied on how much I can say about that right now! However I can say that we are going sky diving for his birthday and I am scared to death to do it! I am just freaked out something will happen to both of us and our cute little boys would become cute little orphans. :(

Other than that I have a secret project I am working on...after contacting a few people on that I will share my progress. Alright. I am off to bed now! Up late fulfilling all the wedding orders coming in through Hair Pretties and Billy will be waking up to go to work in just 1.5 hours at 3 am! Yuck! Goodnight everyone!

blessed beyond measure.

God has been so good to our family. I love that He is always teaching me, always challenging me, and always patient with me. One of my greatest blessings He has given me is my sweet husband Billy.

With Isaac running a nonstop fever and being sick the past week, by the time my birthday rolled around we were all exhausted. Billy had told me about the week before my birthday that he had planned a surprise getaway to San Francisco where he had a "surprise" waiting for me.

However, I woke up Wednesday with a mild headache and I really just wanted to stay in bed and sleep. Billy left early and took the little ones over to my mom's house, who was kind enough to agree to watch all 3 of our boys for the whole day!

I dawdled around till almost 11 am before agreeing to go to SF. And I am so glad I agreed to go.



We started our day with lunch in Union Square at Boudin's. After we headed clear to the other side of SF to the coast to see the Giant Camera. Seeing the ocean made me so happy and the camera was pretty neat too.

Afterwards we headed back to Union Square where Billy grabbed my hand and lead me into the Louis Vuitton store. He walked me up to the counter and told me to pick out a purse. It was one of the best birthday surprises ever. Two years prior, after completing my first full time semester back in school with 2 children and getting straight A's, I awarded myself by buying a Louis Vuitton at that very store in Union Square. Almost one year later we were robbed and my purse was stolen (and also my wedding ring).

I am so blessed that I had a husband who worked SO hard to replace my wedding ring and now to have replaced (and upgraded) my Louis Vuitton bag.

If you know me then you know I love all things classic and so I went with the classic monogram in the speedy 30. Billy included a little gift note that read: You can't spell LOVE without LV. Happy 27th Birthday. I love you. (card is in the center photo featuring a vintage LV ad for Vogue).

He really is an amazing and selfless husband. After leaving Louis Vuitton we stopped by the swanky Hillstone for dinner before retiring back to good ol' Yuba City.

Thanks for making my birthday so special Billy. I love you.

Happy Birthday to Me.

So. Today is not my birthday, but today I stopped contemplating something and just did it and it felt like the perfect early birthday gift!

One, which is not really significant, is that I finally put my order in for a subscription to Anthology magazine. So far they have released 1 issue and the 2nd issue just came out and so I decided to place my order so I can start from issue 2 and slowly build to owning all of them! When Cookie magazine first came out, I bought the very first issue at a Bel Air grocery store and immediately became a subscriber. I love that I own every issue of Cookie and I frequently refer back to them.

Over the last couple years ALL of my favorite magazines have folded...Blue Print, Domino, and even Cookie. I can't tell you how excited I am to actually have a new magazine arriving in my mail. I love blogs, don't get me wrong, but there is just something you can't beat about a well laid out magazine full of inspiration. My lifelong dream was to be a magazine writer but right now I am getting to live out my other dream of being a mother and I can fulfill my creative aspirations writing copy and providing art direction over here, so it's all good!

Speaking of that, I found the first novel I wrote in the 3rd grade (it was a spin off book to the American Girls book collections) and I also started a school newspaper in the 6th grade called C.A.T. Gazette (for Christie, Andrea, and Tiffany..they were my 2 friends I talked into helping :)). Guess I'm kind of dorky but what can I say? I love magazines and I love writing and I can't wait for my first issue of Anthology to get here.

NOW. The big choice I made today was to move money out of our savings and pay off my credit card in full so I can close it. Last year I had 2 credit cards and Billy had 2 as well. We each paid off 1, so we had 2 total. So now I am happy to announce we are down to 1 card in this household and I can't wait to get that one paid off as well.

Because of my resolution to move towards minimalism, I knew it would eat at me if I just let that card linger. Honestly I don't even know where that card is, I haven't used it in forever, but I've just been making a little more than the monthly payments every month and I just decided to bite the bullet and pay the whole thing off.

We have some big news we are announcing (God willing) in May and while it will require us to pad up our savings, pulling some of it out to pay off that card felt absolutely amazing and I know it will serve to benefit us as well down the road for our new ventures this spring.

To be turning 27 and knowing that I have 0 credit card debt was one of the best gifts I could have given myself. I can't wait to put our 12 month plan into action to be able to close Billy's by this time next year so we can announce we have 0 credit card debt as a family. Wish us luck :)

happy pictures...

Sick baby is still sick...but at least he is sleeping! Going through pictures I saved on the desktop and was reminded of how much I love these shoes. Bonus that Billy thought they were pretty awesome too, however he has informed me that he already has my birthday completely planned out and he is promising I am going to love my gift more than these shoes...guess we'll find out. :)

Happy Saturday everyone!

break.

Isaac started running a fever last night and poor little guy has just been miserable ever since...the fever comes and goes but the crankiness is 24/7. :) I finally was able to slide him off of me (after letting him sleep on me for a long while) so I decided to use my little "break" to blog.

The other day I was watching a video of a speech given by Steve Job's (if for some reason you don't know who he is, he is the reason why Apple Computers is what it is). In the speech he said, "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life."

I found those to be some pretty powerful words and have been thinking about that ever since. In 5 days I am turning 27. The year my mother "officially felt old". :) WELL, I must say while aging does not bother me at all, I have been regularly contemplating WHAT I am doing with my time...and not just my time, but I have been thinking about Billy and our children as well. I consider myself blessed, because even at a young age I have always felt that I had a good sense of who I was and no problem being my "true" self.

I want to make sure that not just I, but my WHOLE family is living their own life. Life is too short to be chasing down things that don't really matter to us. I am fortunate we have been able to send Colby to Faith Christian, where I also went to school, and as much as I love it, I don't want Colby to ever feel (like lots of schools can and do) that there is ONE way to be or ONE career that defines success...truthfully all I really want for any of my kids is for them to know and love God with all their heart. Anything else is secondary.

And then there is Billy...he's already done all the hard work to live out his dream...worked his butt off as a dad, boyfriend, employee and student while putting himself through school at Chico State. Took on an intern and graduated while making the dean's list every semester. And yet for the financial security of our family he has stayed at Sam's and has worked there for almost 11 years!

Well. I think its time that changed. If there is anything that I want for my birthday, its for my family to live OUR lives....not anyone else's idea or version of what they think our life should be.

And I'm not going to lie. It's scary. Terrifying, actually. But we've already began making some changes around here and I've already started to see the benefits of carving out our life.

So I feel like I've just been all over the place with this post...and I think I need to try and rest before Isaac is up again...but I just felt the need to write out some thoughts...

I would love to hear from anyone out there. I know my blog has readers because of all my daily views, though no one ever wants to comment!!! BUT If you do decide to comment I'd love to hear your thoughts....who out there is living an authentic life? Who else is living THEIR own life..and not somebody else's? Advice, feedback...I openly welcome all comments!